Forrest’s first line of the episode and he is again concerning himself with the fighters’ aesthetics. I’m not saying somebody in editing is trying to make him look gay, I’m just saying somebody in editing is trying to make him look gay.
Fight #9 – Dan Simmler (0-0) vs Matthew Riddle (1-0)
Simmler is a Serra disciple who Rampage feels is straight from Sparta, whereas Riddle assures us he isn’t a pussy, which is good, since they don’t tend to do well in the fight game. The fight goes to the mat early, where the humble Simmler assures us he is among the best in the world, though nothing much comes of it. The two gaze longingly at each other for awhile standing before kind-of attempting striking. They press against the cage for awhile, before a failed take down by Simmler, and a foot stomp by Riddle, which One Ounce never approves of, nor apparently does Rampage. Riddle gets the fight to the ground but stands out of it, opting to circle and throw some Dan Berrera-esque foot kicks to his prone opponent bringing an ending to an insomnia-curing first round.
Round two is on and Simmler is out. Riddle lands a few more to the out-cold man’s chin, causing Simmler to moan feebly as he comes to, and the medic to order X-Ray’s on his jaw. Simmler doesn’t know where he is, asking repeatedly if it was a real fight or just practice. For those keeping score, it was a real fight. Well, I mean, kind of.
Round #10 – Luke Zachrich (7-1) vs Patrick Schultz (7-1)
Zachrich comes out first and tells us he doesn’t like Schultz’s hair. One Ounce agrees and would like to add his voice to the list as well. Both guys are coming in with solid records though, which has to make you wonder how they ended up paired-off.
Schultz catches a Zachrich kick and lands a hard one to the jaw, but after a brief stand up, finds himself on his back. He gets back up but Zachrich again takes him to the mat where Schultz eats a little forearm. Zachrich gets mount and lands some hard shots to force the roll, sinking in a ticket-punching rear naked choke.
Forrest offers a little jab at Rampage as fighters using his cornermen are besting Rampage’s at an alarming clip, causing Rampage to get on his guys.
Fight #11 – Tim Credeur (9-2) vs Erik Charles (10-5)
Creduer scores the quick take down, and quickly passes into side. Forrest says he’s a legit black belt at BJJ, and sure-enough, he takes Charles’ arm home with him soon after.
Fight #12 – Brandon Sene (2-0) vs Aaron Meisner (2-0)
After trying a high-risk armbar, to Forrest’s chagrine, Meisner ends up on bottom with Sene in side-mount. Rampage comes cageside to offer advise which Meisner doesn’t heed, earning Rampage’s distaste, though it proves to be irrelevant as Sene gets the win. Forrest jokes that he would listen to Rampage either, though no real venom seems on display yet.
Fight #13 – Mike Marrello (5-1-1) vs Gerald Harris (7-2)
Harris comes out like a buzzsaw, though we only get highlights of the fight. Harris earns some respect, and the unanimous decision to get into the house.
Fight #14 – Daniel Cramer (0-0) vs Jeremiah Riggs (1-0)
Riggs tries a really ugly triangle, and finds himself the victim of some mean blows from the mount. He tries to buck his way out but nothing doing, though he does make it to the next round. He tries some new moves that only he seems to know in the second, then gets docked a point for upkicking Cramer in the face about nine times.
As the coaches see it, Riggs has a ton of heart, but none of that skill stuff everybody likes to talk about, as Cramer takes the unanimous decision.
Fight #15 – Nick Rossborough (8-3) vs Jesse Taylor (6-2)
Taylor looks to takedown Rossborough, dubbed by the table “Slim Shady,” and does so with relative ease. Taylor ends up in mount, where he hammers Rossborough, before eventually getting the back and locking in a rear naked choke.
Despite the win, Rampage is unimpressed by Taylor, calling him a one-trick poney.
Fight #16 Josh Hall (3-2) vs Matt Brown (9-6)
Hall is coming in with the unique strategy of wanting to win, a motto he apparently follows through on 60-percent of the time. Dana promises a good fight, so essentially his entire reputation in the industry is on the line right here.
The two press into the cage early, and we learn Hall is Mac Danzig’s boy. Some nice punches in deep by Hall and the two separate. A nice throw from Hall get him on top, but Brown establishes guard and looks for a sub. Dana does his best Rogan impression, repeating “Got it, got it” as Hall easily escapes the hold. Brown cinches it in deeper this time though, and Hall tries twice to slam out which Forrest calls a horrible defense. Something says Rampage begs to differ. He escapes however, though he ends up on bottom with blows raining down on his tired face, leading to a stoppage by Herbie with just seconds to go in the round.
That brings an end to the qualification process, and Dana informs everybody there are no pussies in the gym, which I’d imagine is tremendously little consolation for the 16 guys going home. He assures us we have 16 deserving fighters, carefully bypassing that he’s compared one fighter’s style to turtles fucking.
That’s all for this week, next week we get some teams, and maybe our first match-up between the coach’s fighters.
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